Chris Has No Friends
~quoted from my Yelp page
It’s quite amazing actually – if you ever have the chance to visit San Francisco, and you have a friend there, bring up the idea of going out to eat at a restaurant that is not familiar to either of you – if you do volunteer such a daring adventure, there is a very high probability that your friend will whip out their iPhone and check the restaurant’s ratings and comments on Yelp.
I would almost swear that no one in this city moves an inch, decides anything, without referring to Lord Yelp. I think that most of my friends in SF consult it regularly (maybe it’s a hometown thing – Yelp is based there). I myself consult it fairly often, but I do find a few things about the users rather amusing. One is the self importance that some people gain from puking out 1000’s of words about why they like (absolutely love) or dislike (detest) the reviewed restaurant (and often florist, tailor, etc.). You get all types on this site – here are some examples just to give you a taste (pun intended).
Here’s an example of a plain vanilla commentary on Yelp:
This is one of the best seafood restaurants in the world. The chef always makes his simple creations. You need to be a slightly adventurous eater to eat here. We had uni – which I normally don’t like but it was delicious. The salmon roe was perfect. We had a bit of nigiri with fresh fish that blew my socks off. There was a wonderful fish soup and a simple dessert.
If you like unique, fresh sushi or seafood – then you will LOVE this place.
Here is an example of someone who goes on Yelp to ‘entertain’ others (same restaurant-notice how this reviewer turns to poetic prose):
KISS to those of us in the corporate world is known as, “Keep It Simple Stupid”. Oh my, isn’t the corporate phrase we’ve all come to know so over the years, so well fitting for the name of this restaurant. KISS definitely keeps it simple yet profoundly is as amazing as it gets IMHO, so amazing, that it deserves the colossal distinction of being potentially the 2nd best Sushi/Japanese restaurant experience I’ve EVER had, 2nd to only Nobu NYC/Tribeca.
And here is an example of someone who didn’t like the service and needed to vent (features the commonly used emotional typing tools of censored expletives and ALL CAPS):
… and the waitress comes to OUR table and asks us if we could hurry and leave as other people with reservations were waiting …
EXCUSE ME … ARE YOU KIDDING!!!
Now granted I’d had a couple beers and was feeling a little courageous … but WHAT THE F$%^!!!
Hubby was courteous as usual and thought it was appropriate we leave as those other people had reservations and we were done eating … I pointed out that we STILL HAD BEER IN OUR BOTTLE … was she KIDDING!!!
Anywho … we downed the beer and left … me seething … hubby starting to seeth.
Needless to say the more we thought about it … the more we realized that it just wasn’t worth it … and for reals … it’s NEVER NEVER ok to ask a customer to leave … ESPECIALLY when they’ve dropped over $100 in your restaurant.
There are many comments that are quite entertaining – if you spend a few minutes on the site you’ll be amazed (in a Jerry Springer way) at some of the things you will read. My commentary, which you can find HERE or by clicking the restaurant review link to the left, is rather straightforward, as you’d expect!
P.S. Oh and I am stingy with the 5’s – for some people, every restaurant is a 5 – it’s like everyone winning first prize – can’t happen in the real world
P.P.S. Yelp also has a social component, like other social sites with the ability to add “friends” (real or imagined). I choose not to, hence the quote above!
P.P.P.S. – Yelp also could qualify under my Cheap Ba**ard category since there are often coupons offered on the site…